среда, 16 января 2013 г.

The End Times Are Every Man For Himself, And Ever Man Against People Wearing Zombie Shirts

By Harry Crist Jr.


Good grief, there are a lot of zombies out there! I mean, not literally. You don't have to start boarding up the windows, or anything. I'm actually referring to the fact that zombies are everywhere you look in the media. You can't turn on a television screen these days without seeing some incarnation of the undead stumbling towards a fleeing victim. I see kids who are way too young to be watching such violent things walking around the mall with zombie tee shirts on. It's a little ridiculous.

Zombies roaming the earth will probably never happen, but we live in a chaotic universe...so what if it does happen? The vast majority of people will die in terrible pain and violence. There will be a small percentage who will survive based on pure survival skill, instinct, or luck. Then, there will be an even smaller percentage who survive because they are zombie tees wearing fanatics.

A zombie wasteland is pretty scary, and when you run across a group of living people wearing zombie t-shirts you may think to yourself that you're saved. Hooray! I'm afraid you're hoowrong, my friends...and you'll pay for that with your lives.

These guys have heard the story of the end of the world a hundred times in their lives. They have read all the books, seen all of the movies, and are wearing zombie t-shirts. They also know all of the tricks of survival they've learned from watching all of these fictional scenarios played out in media. Now those scenarios are real! They know the one secret that will be the difference between life and death in a zombie apocalypse: heroism will get you killed.

You need to go ahead and just forget about any help coming from people wearing zombie tees in the time of the apocalypse. Those guys are only concerned with their own survival. You will never get any help from them, so never offer them and of your own assistance. Find some nice survivalist to take you in, hunt food, and teach you how to live on your own. Zombie nerds are never your friends.




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